After a Break Up: You’re Going to Need a Life Raft

Going through a break up can take all your energy.

You wake up feeling depleted and defeated. You find yourself tired, irritable, and anxiety-ridden throughout the day. You’re finding it increasingly difficult to focus on everyday tasks. Even worse, you just don’t feel like eating properly, exercising, or getting enough sleep. It feels as though the break up movie is running your life. The bad news is, this movie can continue looping for an extended period of time. There’s good news though. After a breakup, you have the opportunity to reorganize your life and come through the other side a much improved version of yourself.

So, how do you begin to think about a brand new, exciting life when you can hardly get out of bed in the morning?

Grab a life raft.

You need to change your focus. You need to channel all that attention and energy that’s being wasted on feeling bad. You can repurpose all that mental space that’s currently occupied with doubt, fear, hurt, and worry. It’s time to reach outside your comfort zone and find something challenging, meaningful, and new to focus on.

For me, I needed to dig down deep and discover what I was made of. I decided to conduct my own relationship therapy through a book by Harville Hendrix. The book was titled Getting the Love You Want. After devouring the book, I immediately read the follow up called Keeping the Love You Find. These books were my life savers. I’d come home from work and spend my evenings reading about the causes of power struggles in relationships. I discovered the reasons why I chose the partners in my life. This new, exciting knowledge helped me make better choices in my life. I never made the same mistakes again. This particular experience has vastly improved my quality of life. It began a whole period of self discovery.

For you, your life raft could take the form of volunteering to work at an animal shelter. You could take night classes or learn how to create stained glass panels. There are so many wonderful things waiting to be discovered. Now is the perfect time to pursue new interests. You will meet new people and gain new insights and skills. In a short amount of time, you will find yourself feeling better. You’ll probably discover that you feel better than ever. There’s nothing like brand new endeavors to raise your self esteem and improve your outlook. The bonus is you get to take these new skills forward with you.

Right now, you probably can’t imagine reinventing your life. But, if you honestly commit yourself to taking proactive positive steps toward wholeness, after you’ve come through the other side of the breakup, you’ll likely find yourself unable to settle for less than you deserve. As your focus and interests change, a whole new way of living will open up for you.