Is Desperation Keeping You From Getting Back With Your Ex?

Sometimes it’s normal to feel desperation; however, acting on it is another thing altogether.

So, it’s been a while since you broke up, you’ve thought it through, and you’re convinced you want to get back together with your ex.

You’ve decided you want to fix your relationship and move forward. While it may seem like the natural thing to do, you feel like calling your ex and telling them how desperately you want to reconcile. You might want to tell them how they’re the most important thing in the world and how you can’t live without them.

Does this sound like you?

If it does, you may want to reconsider this course of action. Even if bearing your soul feels truthful and honest, it might actually push your ex away. This kind of desperation will likely turn your partner off.

Anyone who comes on too strong will set off alarms in the other person. Your ex might get the feeling that you can’t get along with anyone. He or she might view your desperate pleas as unattractive.

Think about it. If a person comes off desperate, perhaps there really is something very wrong with him or her. If they were really a catch, they could find lots of potential mates. Another potential problem is honesty. If they really felt this way about me, how could they have let the relationship problems progress to the point of breaking up? Where was this feeling all along? And, if they didn’t realize how they felt until after the breakup, how does this look for their level of maturity and readiness for a healthy partnership?

The best thing you can do is to be real with yourself about your feelings. This doesn’t mean you should run out and share all of them. First, take some time to sort them out. Make sure they are real and enduring. It’s almost always a good idea to sleep on something before rushing head-first into a confrontation. Instead of sharing these intense feelings with your ex, you might want to take a step back.

As a compromise, you might tell them only that you’re thinking about them and the relationship. Don’t dump all your needy or obsessive thoughts into their lap. If the feelings are real, they will stay with you. At this difficult time, it’s important not to confuse loneliness or hurt for true love. And yes, you can love someone and still not be able to have a successful relationship with them. It takes two, and it takes compromise and compatibility.

Take this time to get yourself back to feeling strong, healthy, and positive about yourself. If your self esteem is still feeling wounded, you may want to work on this before rushing to get back with your ex.
Remember, they will never be able to complete you. If you’re walking around with a huge void for them to fill, the relationship will not hold much hope. For now, take care of yourself and wait until you’re feeling clear and positive before trying to salvage the relationship.