Am I Crazy? Should I Even Be Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex?

First and foremost, before moving on to the pertinent relationship questions, it’s important to be honest about your sense of well-being.

Are you taking good care of yourself?

Before considering getting back with your ex, make sure you are taking good care of yourself. Are you eating healthy, getting proper rest, and taking care of your emotional health? During this stressful time, it’s easy to forget we have to take care of our bodies and minds to make positive, healthy choices. When you’re feeling strong and clear, you can start looking at the relationship from a realistic perspective.

While it’s natural and inevitable to consider reuniting with your ex, there are many things to consider before moving in this direction. It’s appropriate to have questions and concerns. Loving somebody does not mean you should avoid asking tough questions.

Have you really thought enough about this?

Relationships are important. The quality of the relationship between you and your spouse can hold the greatest potential for your happiness in life. Are you willing to treat this lightly? After a break up, feeling hurt, rejected, or lonely is natural; however, these feelings are not valid reasons for trying to restore a relationship. Even though these feelings are strong and difficult to endure, they are temporary. Spend some time getting clear about the relationship. Look at both sides of the problems. If you’re unwilling to look at the problems, you’re not ready for reconciliation.

Have you thought about how the relationship will be different?

This takes time. Have you given yourself enough time to acknowledge the truth about the relationship? Can you clearly see your own role as a contributor to the success or failure of the relationship? Are you being honest with yourself with regard to your partner? Are you able to see his or her strengths and weaknesses clearly? Are you aware of your own?

Make sure you’re taking care of yourself.

Are you taking stock of your life? Are you giving yourself what you need? Are you moving toward wholeness, or hoping the other person will pick up the slack and fill your empty spaces? Since the breakup, have you found a sense of balance? Are you feeling confident and trusting of your choices? Are you motivated by fear or the conscious choice to build a healthy life with this person? If you’re not ready to ask and answer these questions, you’re not ready to get back with your ex.

Even though you’re probably worried that your ex will move on if you don’t act, try being completely honest with yourself. Allow yourself to be where you are. Allow your ex to be where they are. Accept the truth of the situation. Work on yourself and your self esteem. If you do decide to communicate with your ex, be honest about where you are. Make sure you take the time to find out where you stand. If you’re confused, honor that truth.
Remember to get help when you need it.
Breakups are complex and difficult. At any time, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out for help. Talk to a trusted friend or counselor. Don’t try to get through it alone. Things will improve. Be good to yourself in every way you can think of.